So, me and my school life.

I bet you guys missed some of my little personal updates on life, eh? Don’t worry, you haven’t missed much. Well… yeah, you have.

I just haven’t decided to spend time dwelling on what happened during school, and jotting them down. Not much has changed though, and things have been going quite well. I don’t know if it’s the weather, cooling down and keeping the sky a nice, deep blue, but I feel rather calm and content.

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This was painted in art class. :)

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A Post on… Wasted Efforts.

On October 28th, A NASA rocket called Antares was launched into the sky. Six seconds into liftoff, the rocket encountered a problem and exploded, falling back to the ground and erupting in a spectacular display of flames. The project spent an estimated 200 million dollars.

Imagine that. 200 million dollars, several months of your time, and 5000 pounds of equipment, all vaporized in a mere six seconds.

How would you feel?

Personally, I’d consider it a waste, and you’d probably see me in shock staring at the video feed. I would be wishing, desiring, begging God to reverse time just a few seconds in the past to the moment before explosion to somehow prevent it. I would put all of the blame on me for screwing everything up, probably forgetting a negative sign or something.

Wasted efforts are something I try to prevent. We don’t have much time here on Earth, so to have any comparable length of time nullified just like that, in six seconds, is definitely alarming. Continue reading

A Post on Brotherly Love — and the lack thereof. Eh?

We come from the same mother. We live under the same roof, and are available towards each other anytime. I’m your role model, and I strive to be an example of how you should live.

So why do you hate me?


These past few weeks have been just awful between my little brother (let’s call him… Rick), and I. Every day after school, we argue in the car. Every time we play a video game together, we argue and he ends up saying heart-crushing things (had they came from an older person).

He’s let his addiction to his video games and YouTube take precedence over his relationship with me. Literally, on our way to school, he’s playing his handheld. On the way back, he’s playing it. The moment he gets home, he watches cartoons, then plays more video games. He then watches YouTube on his tablet until he sleeps.

And by the way, he’s seven, turning eight soon.

It’s been going like a cycle recently. He wants to do something with me. We do it, and he gets mad, saying that he hates me, and that he never wants to see me again. I immediately leave and listen to his pouting for the rest of the day, while he goes back to his technology. The cycle repeats the next day.

And honestly, I’m tired of it. Right now, he’s playing his video games, and I’m typing this post. Yesterday was the time he said that he never wanted to talk to me again, so I took his words literally, and we haven’t been interacting since. I mean, he yells my name from the living room and says that he wants to play, but what he said yesterday is something he needs to stop, immediately. I’m teaching him a lesson, by not responding to him.

And yeah, I know, he’s seven and I’m seventeen, and he doesn’t know any better. But why should I let him get away with such foul words? He’s been watching too many cartoons, where they act like fools and say such things all the time, but does that justify him saying so to me?

Pshh, my momma would’ve killed me if I did it to her, which I have in the past. (Why do you think I feel dead every now and then?)

Anyways, look, this post didn’t come out like it should’ve, but my thoughts have been laid out. I do want to know what you think about the situation, though, because it’s been going on for about three-four weeks. We’ve gone through phase after phase of some issue that comes up deal with him, and me trying to correct it, but it seems to get worse and worse every time.

Them Deep Text Conversations…

So earlier, I texted Mo, asking how her day was. Her lack of an immediate reply made me think of the past, a couple of years ago when most of what I had were deep, intimate conversations over the internet — text-based conversations.

You know, you and this person texting all day, and all night, talking about all sorts of wonderful, funny, weird, and personal things? I really missed those. Continue reading

A Post on Distractions — They’re Evil.

This weekend has been great, especially weather wise. The sky has been absolutely blue, not a single cloud, and the temperature has been a soft, low 80s. I, however, have been inside for most of the time, battling against the Internet over my productivity.

You see, I love to be productive. I make music, I draw, I love to create things in my spare time. I have this game project that I work on, and that’ll be a focus on this post. The other focus will be the Internet, and more specifically, the things on the Internet that absolutely waste my time.

I remember doing a post concerning this earlier, but I could always add some soup to the stew. This’ll go into detail on the things I normally do on the web, and why I think I need to either seriously cut back on it, or drop it altogether. Perhaps this is TMI, but it is still a personal ramble, so, let’s begin.

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Throwback Moment — A little history.

school_8923489.pngA crisp, 80 degrees. Cloudless.

I find myself back alone, standing tall, standing quiet, staring at this landscape, thinking, but not wanting to think.

It’s possible to shut out the thoughts, but I can’t shut out the environment. This is lunch: People, all concentrated into a relatively small place with each other, separated into cliques, versus the loners. This environment always brings me down, because I have the choice to roam around and be with virtually anybody that I want, but I choose to be alone and allow these thoughts to screw with my head.

I don’t see myself compatible with any of these people.

o_o

Oh my friggin’…

Let me find my Freshman year diary, so I can pull out some quotes. I swear, these words would’ve been said by me 3 years ago. Let this post be a Throwback moment, sorry for the disturbance. In fact, I personally warn you, do not read this post, unless you’re actually wanting to find out a little history from my past self.

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Thoughts — They attack when I’m alone.

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Hi guys, did you miss me? I know, I made a post talking about how I posted almost every day this month, then stopped posting for a couple of them. Thing is, I’ve been, well busy, with things — things like applying to the college that I really want to go to, and being distracted by other parts of the internet, along with my own work that I need to do.

I didn’t stop thinking, of course. But I do admit that I stopped drawing in Boring Class, because well, I didn’t really want to spend any time in my feelings digging up the average guy+girl drawing, or the average guy+void+darkmessage drawing. I get bored of jumping in my mind to pick up on some fantasy I wish came true, and sick of thinking about my issues in general.

Nevertheless, I drew one yesterday and just posted it, about why I stopped drawing. Boring Class has gotten busier. Sudoku provided a much more efficient way of getting over these thoughts, and there were days when I just didn’t feel like drawing. The thoughts don’t need paper. They need to fizzle.

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